Tuesday, August 11, 2009

"Not Me!" Monday

Just pretend I live on the west coast. Well, and then pretend it's about an hour earlier. There! Now we have no qualms about the timing of this "Monday" post. :)

It's time for the (almost) weekly edition of "Not Me!" Monday! I just know you're as excited as I am. So let's get started...

This week, I did not forget to make dinner every single stinkin' day. Because, you know, I'm pretty sure that's not even possible. Not even for a pregnant woman with 3 toddlers running around her house.

My husband and I, being the UNselfish parents that we are, did not tell our children they couldn't go out and ride their bikes one evening simply because it was so hot and we were too lazy to prepare for what would have been the inevitable bathtime to follow. We always ALWAYS think about our children first.

There is no way that while I was sitting in bed w/ my laptop, I reached over for a Kleenex, dropped my cell phone off my nightstand and proceeded to nearly fall out of bed trying to retrieve it. I am not that lazy that I wouldn't just set the laptop aside and pull my legs out of bed to get it.

I did not go through the McDonalds drive-thru wearing a Colts t-shirt and, when asked if I was ready for the season to start, totally pretend that I actually care about football (and more specifically, the Colts) just so the drive-thru guy (who was clearly a die-hard fan) wouldn't have his sweet, football-lovin' heart crushed by some stupid girl who happened to have just pulled out a t-shirt from the closet that, amazingly, still fits her.

I also did not just put in that last paragraph about something that actually happened at least a month ago and pretend it happened last week just so I would have something to write about. Because I would never do that.

While attending game night last weekend, I did not seriously pull out my bright green t-shirt spouting the words "I am not a model. I just look like one." and wear it. In public. Even though that shirt is strictly a home shirt only (and I honestly don't remember where it came from), there is no way that I found it just too funny for a 34-week pregnant woman to be wearing such a shirt and therefore, had to wear it. Again, in public.

I did not break down and cry about 5,947,227 times about various things that probably matter to absolutely NOBODY else in the whole world. Because pregnant woman don't do that sort of thing. Ever.

And speaking of things I never do, and therefore naturally didn't do this week either....

I did not raise my hands to the Lord while singing loudly in my car on the way to my last doctor's appointment, even though the entire world might have thought I was trying to give them some sort of hand signal through my front windshield. I never do bizarre things like that, especially if the words to the song I'm singing (or rather, not singing - ehem) start out with "We stand and lift up our hands..."

And finally....after kind of looking forward to it (although seriously wondering if I would have the energy to do it), I did not miss a (probably) fun night out with some girlfriends simply because - are you ready for this? - I totally forgot. As I've mentioned about a bazillion times, I DO NOT forget things that are important, that I'm looking forward to, or that really matter. Why? Because, you guessed it, pregnant woman do NOT do those sorts of things. Even if they've been reminded twice in the same day.


Ahh, well I feel better now. :) Head on over to MckMama's blog, My Charming Kids, for more Not Me! Monday posts!


Michelle said...

Very funny! I do half of that stuff on a regular basis and I'm not even pregnant! Doh!

Sarah said...

You seem to be using the pregnant card a lot lately. :)

Julia said...

i love it!! too funny. i've also put things in my not me monday posts that happened more than a week ago. :)

I love your blog... first timer here. my hubby and i went to school near indy. we don't live in indiana now, but are hoping to someday make it back that way as both our families still live there!!