Sucker Punched

Warning: Graphic pregnancy speech ahead.

There's a weird phenomenon that takes place after you've gotten pregnant and had a child...and specifically after you've done those things multiple times. Your personal life becomes not so personal and you share things with people that the average un-pregnant person would never share. Like for instance, the details of and goings-on which occur near your cervix.

If you've never been pregnant, you'll absolutely in no way be able to understand what I'm about to say.

I hate being punched, kicked, and prodded....in my cervix. I mean, I know the kid can't help it, but come on.

Early on in the pregnancy it's just kind of a strange feeling but as I near the end, I can't help but wonder what the heck that child is thinking! I literally expect to feel the warm sensation of amniotic fluid running down my legs every time I get sucker punched down there. It's highly uncomfortable and always leaves me wondering when it was that I had all that caffeine. Because surely these things don't just happen.

I have 7 weeks left before I am considered full-term (or 6, in some areas) but I sure feel like I could deliver this child at any moment. I know I've probably said this over and over again, but I seriously feel like I've been pregnant for all of about 12 months. It's totally ridiculous.

I know the baby is not "fully cooked" yet, so I'm trying to be patient, but it would be a whole lot easier if this little one could just stop with the rampant kicking and punching down there.

I'm just sayin'.