Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Wacky Wednesday - Bird Craps On Blogger's Head


Today a bird crapped on my head. Yeah...a nasty, black, disgusting zoo bird.

You might think that would be enough of a summary, but I feel the need to tell you details. So here goes...

My day began early this morning when my son awakened me around 7am. I ushered him back to his room and told him to read some books. Thankfully, he obeyed.

I knew we had a morning planned at the zoo and that I had to get my three children breakfast, pack lunches, change everyone's clothes, fix my daughter's hair, find shoes for the children that walk, take everyone potty, pile everyone in the van, and be on my way by 10am. The part I failed to think about was...well, most of that.

At 10:10am, with snacks (i.e. our "lunch") in tow, I pulled out of the driveway. We headed to Burger King to grab breakfast. Yeah, I'm a bad mom. We were scheduled to meet some friends at the zoo at 10:30 and so far we were running about 10 minutes behind schedule. As we pulled through the drive-up, my friend called. I apologized and said we would be on our way in just a minute.

After waiting a few more *precious* minutes for the french toast sticks, we headed toward the interstate. While I was driving, I realized that I needed to get in touch with a friend of mine. What better time to call than while my kids are eating quietly and I am doing something that comes oh-so-naturally, right? WRONG.

About 5 minutes into our conversation, I realized that instead of heading northwest like I needed to be, I was instead heading south. Nice one, Heidi. I glanced at the clock. It was 10:35. *Sigh*

Fast forward...

We got to the zoo around 11 and, after I apologized profusely to my friend (we'll call her Sue) and her family, we entered the zoo. The day was beautiful and the weather was perfect. Well, okay - 10 degrees warmer would have been nice, but whatever. Since the day was so almost-perfect, we decided to eat lunch outside.

Sue was in the middle of giving her daughter a bottle when she suddenly had to dash off to grab her runaway son. I picked up the bottle and continued to feed the baby.

Here comes the good part....

As I was holding the bottle, I heard and felt a small *plop*. Oh, crap! I had been watching the birds and knew there were some in that tree above me. I looked up to see a bird directly above my head. Disgusting! As Sue returned, I said to her, "Please tell me there is not bird crap in my hair." She looked and said she did not see anything. Whew!

A few minutes later as we were cleaning up our lunch, we saw a spot of bird poop on the table. "Oh, that's where it landed!" Sue said. Sure, I thought, but why would I have felt that?

Fast forward again....

Tonight I was getting up from my chair at church and Sue said to me, "Hey, put your head down - you've got something in your hair."

"POOP?!" I exclaimed.

"Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry, Heidi!"

"There actually IS poop in my hair?!?!"

"I swear, I didn't see it before!"

So there you have it. A bad friend who did not see BIRD POOP in my hair. My husband made up some lame excuse about how bird poop isn't white until it dries and that's why she didn't see it before. But let's put that aside...mainly because it's ridiculous. SHE DIDN'T SEE BIRD POOP IN MY HAIR!

Come on, Sue! You really dropped the ball on that one!

I showered as soon as possible after getting home and am pretty sure I got it all out. Ok, so it was just a tiny bit, but....EWW!!

10 comments:

Jane said...

Can totally sympathize with you on this one! Working our way through the crowd to find a good place to watch the Memorial Day parade last year, and who does a bird pick? ME! My neighbor did see the damage and helped as much as she could at the time with a baby wipe, but yuck!!!!! What a gross feeling!

FLUUD7 said...

JANE: Wow! While you were moving and everything! What a talented bird! But eww!

Tina said...

Try having one poop on the side of your face! Yep!nHappened to me at my son's football game...EEWWW!!!

Anonymous said...

I was at a mall one time and this guy had a parrot (not sure why). He kept insisting on putting it on my shoulder. I kept saying no, but being 12 or so, I wasn't very assertive. He put it on my shoulder. It pooped all down my back. Loads of poop. Gross!

Amy said...

an elephant sneezed on my mom one time at the lincoln park zoo in chicago, and my sister was "lost" at the children's museum once...my mom shouldn't have put a 4 year old in charge of a 3 year old, what can i say? birdstuff is pretty yucky!!! sorry you had to experience this, but now you've gotten it out of the way...so it shouldn't happen again, right? ;)

Tina said...

Well, lightning does strike in the same place twice. I was in the 6th grade and we used to have to sit in the gym in the mornings to wait for the bell. There were birds that made the rafters in the gym their home. Well, who does one of the birds choose to crap on while flying overhead one day? You guessed it, ME!! So I've been hit twice!!! It was embarrassing then and was just as embarrassing when it happened as an adult! :)

Extraordinary Ordinary Life said...

Wow, Sue is not a very good friend. She should have totally seen that poop in your hair. She was probably thinking about all the great deals she could get a CVS or something. You should never take her to the zoo again. Although, I mean, if an animals is going to poop on you - don't you think the zoo is the most appropriate place to be?

Extraordinary Ordinary Life said...

Oh, and that picture is disgusting!

FLUUD7 said...

Maybe Sue should be more concerned about maintaining her friendships than about saving money at CVS.

:)

Kimmy2303 said...

Eek!! That is quite disgusting.