I'm not normally the paranoid type. I'm really not. But today has been different. I have had this feeling that I'm being watched. That at any moment I may be attacked, and attacked with a vengeance.
In my backyard....there is something peculiar going on. There are large dancing shadows and black coats.
Do you see those birds? They are huge.
And they are watching me.
Not only are they watching me.
There are also noises.
Loud unnatural noises.
I'm not even kidding. They are making me nervous. Surely only 3 or 4 of them could overtake me if I dared set foot outside my back door.
So I refuse to do so. I will sit inside and watch them watch me. And while I'm watching them watch me, I will try not to think about all the horrible possibilities that could fall upon me if I move even an inch closer to the windows or doors.
That's right. I'm now convinced that even being near the door might get my eyes pecked out or my skin eaten up.
Seriously. The birds are scary. And if you don't hear from me next week, you'll know what happened.